Stephanie Nielson

I urge everyone to go to this blog
nieniedialogues.blogspot.com

Once you read it and look at pictures you will feel humbled. Humbled about not only your life, but about your appearance. I am the biggest self critic. I look at myself and pick everything apart to my hair to my skin tone. I've always had this issue since I was young, growing deeper when I had my eating disorder. It's hard to overcome habits especially when you feel basic hate for your looks.

After reading about this woman and what she goes through made me cry. She is scarred from a devestating plane accident she was in a little over a year ago. She was burned over 80% of her body and was in a coma for months. She might have her days of self doubt and saddness of her appearance but she's such an inspiration. It makes me take a deeper look into my life ... because I don't think I would have the courage that she does.

Again wow. This definitly humbled me

I will update with pictures soon.


Melissa

Weight Loss

I've really been working on losing weight ... so here is two pictures and I want to know if I possibly look any different. When I look at myself I still see a really overweight person ... but that still stems from my eating disorder from when i was younger. My perception of myself is distorted and I don't think I'll ever see myself "normally" so please let me know

before after

These are the only two photos i can really find of myself that shows my whole (ish) body obviously i have issues of full body shots.
Nothing is showing on the scale so it's really getting to me ...

Melissa

Updates ...

So a lot has happened since the blog. In early June we went to Utah to visit Aaron's family. Here are some pictures from the trip ....

Brooke and IRachel and I

Breann and I Emie and Iall of usbeing silly

That me with my sister in laws. They are all very fun and it was great seeing them. Rachel just got from a mission in Thailand ... so it was great to see her after 18 months of service.

Here is Aaron and his old mission companion John ...

This is my friend, Kelly. Her and I were roommates at BYU Idaho for a year back in 2002. She didn't tell me she was 9 MONTHS PREGNANT before I saw her. Aaron was like, uh, Melissa either Kelly is pregnant or she got really fat." lol and if you knew Kel you'd know that would never happen. she looks great and I am very happy for her.

Also during my wonderful Utah trip I found out that my license was suspended AND I had a warrent for my arrest. Goodness! I was really pissed and confused since I had a valid Washington license. I got it cleared up and its a long story but I was so angry that I had to pay a ticket that I assumed was paid over a year ago. Oh well.

When we came back I got a membership the local YMCA. We got almost 75% off everything because are poor. LOL so now I am trying to lose my baby gut. My overall goal is to lose 40 pounds we will see how that goes.

Noah is now 35 lbs and 35 inches long. He's growing so fast. We are taking him to a developmental pedetrican because he isn't talking and shows some signs of autism. If he does have it, it's very mild.

That's about it! Nothing else exciting, I'll update again after 2 months of not :)

Melissa

A little behind ...

2 months to be exact! I haven't really been in a blogging mood and I am actually forcing myself to do this right now. I'll update you since the last time I blogged

Work has been working and nothing exciting to report. Our schedueles have changed because of a "amesty" we are doing for the month of may and june. I no longer work 10 hour shifts 4 days a week. I am really missing my zumba classes right now. :( That is suppose to be ending June 30th but they might keep our schedueles the same which I am bummed about because I hate 9-6pm. However a jobs a job right?

April 17th was mine and Aaron's 5th anniversary. We just went out to the melting pot and came home. Yeah we're pretty lame. It was fun, but also we don't have a lot of money to be spending right now.

In May we found out that there is no hope to saving our home from forclosures unless we wanted to spend money out of pocket to fix our home up and if we could do that, we wouldn't have moved away. So, now we are dealing with other issues revolving around our home. I am pretty stressed and upset about it, so I am going to stop typing about it.

Also in May was Mine and Noahs birthday. Aaron took me out to the Olive Garden on my birthday and we went and saw Night at the Museum Two. It was a fun day for me. Then next day we went to Oregon and visited my very dearest friend, Carrie. She always can make me happy and uplift me, especially during these troubled times. I am greatful for her and her husband, David, for being such great hosts and great friends. I love them dearly.

May 30th was Noahs 2nd birthday. We didn't do much. We actually celebrated it on May 31st due to me working and going to a conference that had to do with my calling in church. So, we had a pool party. I invited my anthor wonderful friend, Sarah, and her daughter, Kylie, to his party. It was just my family and them so it was nice. We had fun splashing around and even my sister, Stephanie, was in town from Missoula Montana for the occasion. Noah got a lot of fun gifts, a tricycle, his pool, a lot of "cars" stuff, clothes, balls, etc etc. We then enjoyed a ice cream cake that my friend, Alison, made for us from Dairy Queen. Here are some pictures to enjoy

Now it's June. In 5 days we are going to Utah and spending time with Aarons family. It will be nice and relaxing that I don't have to work but then I won't get anymore vacation time til 11-24-09. Ugh. Anyways that is really all to update about nothing too exciting. More pictures and stories to come maybe in a few more months :)

Melissa

UUUGGGHHHAAAARRRRGGGGHHHHHH

Yup that is how I feel right now. As some of you know (some might not) we are losing our house. Yes, I've been very depressed and sad about it but its the way life happened for us. I got laid off and then couldn't afford our payments. Chase wasn't willing to help us out with any programs and because the economy was so bad no one could help us out financially (programs, friends, family). So, we had to pack up our belongings and moved ourselves to Washington. We felt like it was kind've a blessing because we felt like we needed a change and Aaron needed to go to school and it wasn't possible in Utah. So, we sought assistance from a program called "Walkaway Plan" and they've been very helpful. We put our house on the market for 3 months (short sale) and then they sent out a died in lieu of forclousure (help us NOT to forclose). So, Chase has been very rude to me lately calling me and saying that I am being disrespectful to them and I am not coorporating. I understand they are trying to collect a debt (that's what I do for a living) but they are NOT listening to what I am saying. My account is in litigation which means the litigation department is handling it because of the forclosure thing. So, finally the person over my account calls the person helping me at Walkaway plan and tells her I HAVE TO DO EVERYTHING over again because we have a different type of loan. So I have to fill out all the paper work and put it on short sale again for 3 months. I think they are just trying to set me up to fail. I really do, I hate Chase and this whole thing. I am so mad that it is giving me a headache.

so anways I just feel awful about myself and this whole thing. I thought it was getting somewhere and now we are back to square one again ... it makes me feel very worthless.

Melissa

I just haven't been in the blogging mood ...

Sorry everyone, I get on here and read everyones blogs but I just haven't had anything in me to post one of my own for a few months. So, what is new???

Well, I got my first commission check from my job this last month. It was nice and I was able to pay off two of our bills. :) Now, my job isn't luxury. I am actually a little intimidated telling people where I work, because I am a debt collector and when I do tell someone I get a look as if to say " oh, you're one of those people." I do feel guilty every day I go home and it does make me sad of what I have to do everyday. However, it's a job, and the only one I've been able to get so far. Someday, I will be able to not work there and either work somewhere else, or finally be a stay at home mom (maybe watching a few other kids on the side). Until that day comes, I am one of those people for now.

Noah went to the doctor a few weeks ago for his very late 18 month check up (he's 22 months right now). He weighs 31 lbs and is 34 inches tall. So, he's in the 95th percentile for weight and 50th for height. I really hope he isn't short when he gets older. I will feel so bad for him. :( He's also decided that he has turned two (he decided this probably 5 months ago) and is a little terror! I mean I love him, but he throws these fits where he bangs his head on the floor. I mean it's hard!!! He is still sleeping in the same room with us. His room is ready except my mom is suppose to finish his curtains (and I have to keep reminder her everyday!!!) and we have to do something with his closets. I also am not sure if we are going to get him a toddler bed or not. He's not even two yet, but he manages to climb onto his changing table (why I ever bought a crib with one attached, who knows, I have YET to use the stupid thing and it was a must have before he was born) and shimmy down the floor. I am hoping by the end of this month he will be adjusted to his new room and finally be away from us. LOL I love him, but having him live with us the same room since October has been difficult.

I am still trying to lose weight. I haven't lost anything. I am a little depressed about it and wondering what is wrong with me. I mean, I haven't been eating bad and I work out and still nothing. Also, I have the worst acne for some reason. all over my chin. It's made me so self conscious and ugly.

I don't know if I am going to venture into selling Mary Kay. My friend, Jennie, is selling it and pitched it to me (I've been to a "party" with my friend, Sariah, before but wasn't interested at the time because I was 19 and didn't want to spend the money). It's really interesting and I can get my products 50% off my entire life (I'd only have to sell 200 dollars a year). I just have a couple of hiccups. I don't know how I'd do it because I don't know many people. I know that it's suppose to get you to be able to approach people and sell to them and referrels and stuff but also I have such bad skin right now, who would want to buy anything from me. I know if someone was pitching makeup to me I'd except their face to reflect the product. I don't know has anyone here sold Mary Kay or is selling and what was their experiences?

Aaron is still doing the school thing. It's his second sememster and doing so well. I'm proud of him and what he's accomplishing. I wish he would have started this sooner though!!! :)

Our anniversary is in two weeks (april 17th). We are going to celebrate at the Melting Pot (so DELICIOUS!!!!!) and out on the town. I'm excited.

Well, today it is lik 70 degrees outside and I am going to enjoy the sun a little bit more before it goes away again.

Melissa

Missed a lot ...

Sorry I have a hard time blogging. I always say, I have to blog today ... and then decide I 'll do it later because then I can gather all the info I need into one post instead of multiple, then I get lazy and don't blog.

So here's the last month of info:

At work I got a new desk to work off of. I was on a desk that wasn't getting any money at all on it. On Friday My desk was at 10,800 so hopefully by Tuesday I'll be at way more and I can atleast make some commission! :)

Noah is getting so big and saying more words more and more. I'm not sure why it has taken him so long to actually say words. I am not sure if he's been "talking" all along or if he just is slower then other children. He's also FINALLY eating actual meals. He loves Mac N Cheez and toast. He's also so funny in the mornings. Because he is sleeping in the same room with us (until my sister moves out) he always comes and sleeps with us because he will get up and see us. It's so annoying but I don't know what else to do. I don't want to go sleep on our cold couches in the playroom and I can't ignore him so he falls asleep with us. However, when he wakes up he sings to us and says "TWO". He's definitly a morning baby. I can't believe it, it's helping me because I get up in the mornings and run on the treadmill because I am TRYING to lose weight. We will see what happens with that. I feel better by working out, but I don't see any drastic changes :(.

Aaron's birthday was Feb 18th. He turned 28. He says he's so old and tried to show me his gray hairs but I don't see any. LOL he's being so dramatic! I got him a IPOD Touch. I got it off Ebay so I got it for a KILLER price ... I'm a fabulous ebay shopper. I am currently bidding on a pair of steve madden boots for only 10.00. :) He had a good birthday, atleast I hope he did.
We went out of town yesterday and today to Seattle for his birthday. It was fun, but our plans kinda went south because I-5 was being worked on and it would've taken forever to get to Downtown Seattle. So, we just went to the mall instead and didn't buy anything (like always LOL). On Saturday night Aaron decided to take me to a part of Seattle where he served his mission (Renton) and I was scared for my life. The first thing that comes out of his mouth when we enter the area where he lived was, "at that house we met a guy who just got out of prision for murder." Ok, so that didn't sit well with me and also seeing the 10 cop cars that was making a permiter around a house because of some guy inside wasn't helping either. I can't believe he served in that area and talked to people there. It is quite scary and I wasn't too happy being over there. :(

So, that's pretty much it. Nothing else has happened in my life that is entertaining. I saw a good friend, Andrea on Saturday morning and I was so happy to see her. I miss her so much, and I wish I could see her more often. So, the end for now ...

Melissa